I've hit this little spot in my life where I sometimes do nothing but worry about the end of my life. Death keeps calling to me. Now I know it sounds silly since I'm only twenty-one but each birthday brings me one year closer to the end. Today, one year closer is about a month away.
I'm realizing late that my fear may not be purely on my death that might truly worry me. What worries me is not "living" after death. Not being remembered; for being remembered is the only way to live on. Right now, I figure a way I can cheat death in the simplist form is to make a plan for each month to keep me active... to keep my mind from wandering in the dark. So, call me whatever you want, be it nerd, dork, or geek, but that won't stop me from making plans for the next few months.
March- I want to go visit my Grandma and Grandpa in Louisiana for my birthday with my dad... and I want to see my best friend because I haven't seen him in two years. I also plan to get a second job started as a substitute teacher and I plan to write noble house publishers and/or newspapers in Chicago/New York to get a book of my own poems published.
April- I plan to be at the halfway point on my first novel (at this point I will start writing three things at a time: the novel, the sequel to said novel, and a full length play).
May- I plan to either publish a second book of poems, or a few short stories to newspapers around the world.
On after- As far as after those months, I would love to be done with my first novel by Christmas and my first full length play around the same time (november to january). I will have restarted school in order to get my BA degree.
Hopefully, by doing these things, I can get a small jumpstart on my life and think less of the life I believe I've wasted away while watching movies and playing stupid video games. I fight to be remembered after and, though young, I just don't feel that I have a long time to get everything done. As someone bright once said, "the only way you can truly die, in truth, is if you're forgotten soon after." I don't plan to be forgotten. I want to be like Poe, Homer, Shakespeare, and Sandburg. I want to be remembered.
Carpe Deim "Yeah, yeah... carpe these nuts! Man I can't wait to quit this job!"
Mike | 
